Yes, I know.

We don’t call, we don’t write … and you have been worried sick.

I get it. I do. Really.

I could bore you with all the tedious and sordid details of why I have not posted over the last five months … why I was called away to a little known magical kingdom … why I was the only hope of those poor, lost people … why I have a new nickname … why my hair is now growing out of control … why I now have, and rightly so, a day named after me and why I am the proud new owner of a pretty damned cute tiara, which doesn’t quite fit … not that I have tried it on or anything.

No. I won’t bother you with that particular tale.

Instead I will regale you with the happenings of “the farm”. Why the quotes? (Go ahead, do the quotes symbol with your fingers, you know you want to ………. I will wait.) To be perfectly honest, it really doesn’t resemble a farm. Yet. But we have continued to use the moniker for the sole purpose of speaking into existence, something that doesn’t exist. Yet.

So …

“The farm” (fingers please) is starting the slow process of waking from its long winter slumber. Patches of grass and fern are dotting the landscape with a deep green, song birds are chirping and chattering away as they go about their bird business (not sure what that is, but it sounds important), and the land starts to beckon to be plowed and planted.

Typical Spring here in Colorado is a bit of a roller coaster ride … 70 degrees one day, single digits and 14 inches of snow the next day. Today we were scoured by 50 MPH winds, all the while being bathed in the sumptuous and exotic aroma that is the local dairy. Good times. The winds are the harbinger of yet another Winter/Spring storm … which is a good thing, since we desperately need the moisture.

It is hard to believe that half of April has already past and the list of chores and prep work we need to do seems to grow daily. Our last frost date is about the 10th of May, which is when we want to get the plantin’ done. (That’s right, I said plantin’ … and that is what we call “farm cred”).

We don’t think we will be ready for Bees this year, which was a tough decision to come to, but definitely the right one. We are considering adding a small fleet of chickens to help combat the coming Grasshopper plague. I will of course train and equip all of the chickens myself … I think a small team will be best … 4 or 5 of the most capable chickens in the county should be fine to start. Although finding teeny-tinny black nit caps has proven to be problematic. I am sure it is discriminatory and I am planning on a class action suit in the future.

We will document the whole process so everyone can share in our victories, our failures, and if appropriate, and I assure it will be VERY appropriate, make fun of us by utilizing the time honored “Nanner, nanner” for our rookie mistakes … then again … it’s me, so there won’t be any mistakes.

Sooooo … that isn’t much of a “catch up” … but it will have to do for now.

Should I happen to get the tiara to fit, you will be the first to know … I promise.