I know, that title doesn’t make any sense, but I am desperate for a title and my sore throat has turned into a full blown cold, equipped with the latest in mucous technology … so … yeah.
We picked up the paint for the house today. That paint cost more than 2 chickens and a bucket of manure taking a bath on Tuesday!
No idea what that means, but apparently when you live on a farm you have to make those kinds of comparisons on a daily basis or you lose your membership card … something like that. Seriously, paint is crazy expensive, especially if you are buying no the VOC kind. The store clerk (old west reference) was pretty helpful, although his idea of help (taking our money) and our idea of help (desperately trying to hold on to our money) … yeah, two different things.
Us: “We need the no VOC paint from brand X (X to protect the innocent) in this color and in a satin finish.”
Clerk: “Well not sure we have that. Hmmm … how about an eggshell finish?”
Me to Deena: “Is he making fun of the farm with his snooty poultry paint finish remark?”
Deena to Me: “What the hell are you talking about??”
Deena to Clerk: “That will be fine.”
Me to no one in particular: “Wow, that is expensive!”
Clerk to Deena: “Would you like 14K Gold Flakes with that?”
Me to the Clerk: “Hey, we didn’t just arrive at the farm today buddy” (I didn’t let on that technically we haven’t arrived at the farm at all.)
Deena to Clerk: “No, just the paint.”
Clerk then leaves, comes immediately back. Clerk to Deena: “You realize that this particular paint doesn’t come with Ponies, Lawn Darts, or Strudel? We have THAT paint, but it costs more.”
Me to Myself: /Excited squeal “Strudel? I love Strudel!”
Deena to Me and the Clerk in no uncertain terms: “No Strudel, just the paint.”
And off the Clerk went, grumbling I might add, to tint our paint to the proper color. Once done, we picked up the paint, but were told, under the threat of Thunder and Doom, not to lose the caps to the paint buckets, since the barcode would be the only way for them to reproduce the color! Wait, what? He JUST made it WITHOUT a barcode!
Me: “That boy is dumber than two turnips and a barrel of door knobs!” (Still trying to get a hang of these country folk sayings.)
To top everything off, in my cold and cough syrup induced stuppor, I spent half the time in the store looking for “Liquid Fence”. Apparently that is an imaginary product (a drug addled amalgamation of Liquid Nails and Fencing material).
So I thought the best idea would be to go home, freebase some Nyquil Cold and Flu Relief, and then blog about it. Brilliant!!
I am sure that at some point, perhaps after the move, this blog will take on a more sophisticated feel. I will impart my sagely advice about growing things … or something. Until then, you get to enjoy the immensely satisfying ramblings of the above!
Yeah, you’re welcome.